3 Conversations to Have with Your Partner Before Returning to Work
So, you're gearing up to head back to work after parental leave? Big moment! But before you dive back into emails, meetings, and remembering how to drink coffee while it's still hot, it's worth having a few key conversations with your partner. Returning to work is a team effort, and a little prep can go a long way in keeping things (mostly) smooth.
Here are three must-have chats to help you both navigate this transition like pros.
1. Who’s Doing What? (A.K.A. The Division of Labor Chat)
Between work, childcare, and keeping the household from turning into absolute chaos, it's easy to assume that everything will just… fall into place. Spoiler: It won’t. Before the mental load piles up, sit down with your partner and get clear on who’s handling what.
Key Questions to Cover:
✔ Childcare logistics: Who’s handling drop-offs, pick-ups, and sick days? Do you have a backup plan if things go sideways?
✔ Household tasks: If one of you is returning to work, do some chores need to shift? (Hint: Yes.)
✔ Flexibility check: If work schedules change, how will you adjust? Who has the more flexible job for surprise daycare closures?
💡 Fun fact: Research shows that when responsibilities are split more evenly, both partners are happier. Dads who take paternity leave, for example, tend to be more engaged in household tasks long-term (APA, 2022).
2. Work-Life Balance… Does It Actually Exist?
Going back to work doesn’t mean family life should take a backseat. The key is setting realistic expectations for what balance actually looks like—because let’s be honest, some weeks will be more “survive” than “thrive.”
Key Questions to Cover:
✔ Employer policies: Align on conversations you’ll be having with your manager and/or HR to facilitate a smooth return to work. Are you looking to negotiate remote work? Setting boundaries on work travel?
✔ Family time: When can you carve out moments for connection—whether it’s family dinner, a morning walk, or a standing Friday night pizza party?
✔ Personal time: Because burnout is real. How can you each get some solo time to recharge?
3. How Are You Really Feeling About This?
Transitioning back to work can bring up a mix of emotions—excitement, guilt, relief, anxiety. Having an open line of communication with your partner will make a world of difference.
Key Questions to Cover:
✔ Biggest concerns: What feels most overwhelming about this transition? (It’s okay if the answer is “figuring out what to wear.”)
✔ Stress signals: How will you know when the other person is feeling stretched too thin? What’s the game plan when that happens?
✔ Check-in plan: How often will you regroup to see how things are going and make adjustments?
💡 Pro tip: Studies show that couples who openly communicate about stress have stronger relationships and better mental well-being (Psychology Today, 2023).
Returning to work is a big transition, but having these conversations in advance can help you and your partner feel more like a team and less like two over-caffeinated ships passing in the night. Will everything go perfectly? Probably not. But setting expectations early can help reduce frustration, build connection, and make this next chapter a little smoother.
📝 Have you checked out our Career Comeback Toolkit? This guide is packed with pages of expert advice, worksheets, checklists and communication tips to help you handle the transition like a pro! Get yours today.
